Saturday, December 13, 2008

Toilet Papering


Two bright eyed young friends crouched behind a darkly lit shrub. A nervous waft tickled their thin legs and chilled their exposed arms. The night air was fresh and cooling. From behind the bush they could see their shadowed target. It would be a quick but aggressive hit. Their arms were filled with ammo and the car was near with more reserves. They looked at each other and smiled.

To this day, these two friends are not sure which one of them first suggested that they wear dresses to this toilet papering revelry but both admit that it was a very impulsive move. They had gone over to Pauline Coleman’s dilapidated poolroom and stolen the dresses to wear as disguises while they toilet papered the McRae’s house. Possible the disguises were suggested because the house was located on two main streets, Highway 191 and 20th street. Or maybe it was because of the severity of the toilet papering they planned. What ever the case, the two sat hidden in the night in 1950’s flower dresses.

Suddenly they sprung from their secluded sepulture and began their juvenile art. In the back yard, they flung toilet paper roles high into the trees allowing them to catch on branches and fall again, making a beautifully draped display. Like a gigantic wedding cake flowing in a gorgeous random pattern. Soon all the trees and ground were covered like a wonderful white Christmas.

Both friends ran back to the car and started dragging garbage bags of shredded confetti, there were 11 in total. The true touch of the master’s hand. The confetti was thinly spread across the entire back yard, completing the snowy scene. As they looked at their beautiful art, they realized there was one thing missing. They both ran back to the car and grabbed two boxes of tissues. This was the final touch on what would become the greatest toilet papering job ever to occur in Safford.

The two glided across the lawn like ballerinas in their master performance, lightly throwing tissue from side to side. The tissues floated reverently down to the ground. They landed gently on the confetti covered ground and like thieves in the night the two friends sought the breast of silence and were suckled by the night.

4 comments:

Courtney Curt said...

Oh man, what a work of art. Really?....Dresses?! Where's that picture? :)

LucyH said...

I haven't seen this blog yet. If this is from yeas past, then I totally remember this. And I also remember Bro. McRae wasn't too happy, nor were the girls who had to vacuum the grass. Classic. We tee peed their house once and then it rained that night. I felt really bad, and he knew it was us and called me mud for a while. Good times. I don't recall the dresses though. But maybe this was more recent?

Angela said...

Hey I heard you are getting married soon! CONGRATS!!!! I'm so happy for you guys:)

Garrett Van Rooy said...

Did you just make toilet papering sound romantic? That sir, is talent.